Wed Mar 10, 2004 4:15 pm
Hey everyone ^^v I'm new to the fanfic world (I've never written one ^^; )...I'd love to write a full SSX fan fic story sometime =P Saturday night at like, 1:30am, lol, I wrote this really short story. It doesn't really go anywhere in terms of plot or development though...I just wanted to try my hand at writing in the SSX setting and its characters, as well as a few lines of dialogue in the characters' voices. I write sooo much more description than I used to, lol...
...okay, here it is! I hope it's not too bad
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Powder snow completely covered the vast, enormous fields on the tall mountain. Upon closer inspection of the seemingly untouched white blanket, faint marks resembling that of ski trails and boot marks could be seen stamped into the surface. The weather was sunny and clear; the climate was quite cold, with no wind to further increase the chill. It was perfect for snowboarding.
At the top of the summit, 18-year-old Mackenzie, or “Mac”, Fraser surveyed the terrain, boarding goggles in one hand and a pair of headphones in the other. A CD player dangled from his right pants pocket, its gray color causing it to stand out in contrast of the black baggy pants and black hoodie sweatshirt that he wore. A black beanie cap concealed most of his shaggy, medium length brown hair. After he looked over the snowfield one last time, he pulled the goggles onto his face, and then the headphones over his beanie. He whispered one word after fastening his black and white shoes to his snowboard.
“…Perfect.”
Looking up, he waved into the air as if giving a sign to someone. He then jumped forward on the hill, gaining more and more speed as the incline became steeper. After a good 30 seconds, he was racing down the hill at full speed, jumping and doing trick after trick off of even the smallest moguls in the ground. A backside 360 followed by a late nosegrab. A simple 180, then another to get himself back into his regular stance. A frontside misty 360 with a flying squirrel. On the last big ramp, he ripped two Stoneages and a late tailgrab before racing through the finishing point. As soon as he crossed, a young boy’s voice called out his finishing time.
“2 minutes and 8 seconds!”
The child flashed an ear-to-ear grin at the teenager’s puzzled face. He beamed as he pointed at the teen, and loudly screamed, “HA!”
Mac cried out in surprise.
“W…what?! C’mon, you know that couldn’t have been more than two minutes flat!” he argued.
“Nope!” the little boy teased, “Nyah nyah, you’ll never beat MY time! You suck!”
Mac grumbled.
“Whatever,” he growled, “…chump.”
The small child giggled as he skipped back to the nearby lodge, already announcing his victory over the older rider.
“Nate! Nate! I did it! I made a time he couldn’t beat! Wahoo!!”
He eventually went back inside, chatting with the man dressed in an outdoor hiking outfit who was also a newcomer to the SSX circuit.
Meanwhile, Mac slowly began to walk to the lodge, board under his arm, allowing the music in his headphones to drown out the thoughts of his inability to beat the child’s time on the backcountry course. He kept his usual straight face, but with a slight hint of disappointment in his expression. He moved his head with the rhythm of the hip-hop music playing on his CD player, until an energetic girl jumped up behind him and grabbed his arm.
“Huh…?” Mac was startled until he looked down into the playful brown eyes of the 19-year-old Kaori Nishidake, who had a light smile covering her face. He could not hold back the small grin that began to form on his lips; looking into Kaori’s eyes always seemed to have that effect on him.
“Mac,” the young woman began, “you beat Griff’s score?”
Mac grunted.
“Heh…I still can’t beat that damn brat’s time,” he replied. “I don’t know what’s up with me…but I’ll hafta admit, he’s a hell of a good racer.”
Kaori tilted her head to the side.
“He’s not better than you, Mac!” she said with an even bigger smile than before. “How about you challenge him to a freestyle event?”
Mac smirked at the thought.
“Kaori, Kaori…no one, and I mean no one, beats me in a freestyle event. Not even you.”
He winked, and then lightly put his arm around the woman. He looked down at her and began to speak again.
“Trust me, girl,” he started, “I’ll beat his time. Then we’ll see who really owns this backcountry.”
Removing his arm from around her shoulders, he once again started towards the lodge, his head bobbing in a set beat. Kaori watched his back as his figure faded into the building, then began to run up to the lodge door to catch up to him.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Please let me know what you thought of this! Any sort of feedback, criticism, etc would be great ^^ Thanks a bunch!
...okay, here it is! I hope it's not too bad
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Powder snow completely covered the vast, enormous fields on the tall mountain. Upon closer inspection of the seemingly untouched white blanket, faint marks resembling that of ski trails and boot marks could be seen stamped into the surface. The weather was sunny and clear; the climate was quite cold, with no wind to further increase the chill. It was perfect for snowboarding.
At the top of the summit, 18-year-old Mackenzie, or “Mac”, Fraser surveyed the terrain, boarding goggles in one hand and a pair of headphones in the other. A CD player dangled from his right pants pocket, its gray color causing it to stand out in contrast of the black baggy pants and black hoodie sweatshirt that he wore. A black beanie cap concealed most of his shaggy, medium length brown hair. After he looked over the snowfield one last time, he pulled the goggles onto his face, and then the headphones over his beanie. He whispered one word after fastening his black and white shoes to his snowboard.
“…Perfect.”
Looking up, he waved into the air as if giving a sign to someone. He then jumped forward on the hill, gaining more and more speed as the incline became steeper. After a good 30 seconds, he was racing down the hill at full speed, jumping and doing trick after trick off of even the smallest moguls in the ground. A backside 360 followed by a late nosegrab. A simple 180, then another to get himself back into his regular stance. A frontside misty 360 with a flying squirrel. On the last big ramp, he ripped two Stoneages and a late tailgrab before racing through the finishing point. As soon as he crossed, a young boy’s voice called out his finishing time.
“2 minutes and 8 seconds!”
The child flashed an ear-to-ear grin at the teenager’s puzzled face. He beamed as he pointed at the teen, and loudly screamed, “HA!”
Mac cried out in surprise.
“W…what?! C’mon, you know that couldn’t have been more than two minutes flat!” he argued.
“Nope!” the little boy teased, “Nyah nyah, you’ll never beat MY time! You suck!”
Mac grumbled.
“Whatever,” he growled, “…chump.”
The small child giggled as he skipped back to the nearby lodge, already announcing his victory over the older rider.
“Nate! Nate! I did it! I made a time he couldn’t beat! Wahoo!!”
He eventually went back inside, chatting with the man dressed in an outdoor hiking outfit who was also a newcomer to the SSX circuit.
Meanwhile, Mac slowly began to walk to the lodge, board under his arm, allowing the music in his headphones to drown out the thoughts of his inability to beat the child’s time on the backcountry course. He kept his usual straight face, but with a slight hint of disappointment in his expression. He moved his head with the rhythm of the hip-hop music playing on his CD player, until an energetic girl jumped up behind him and grabbed his arm.
“Huh…?” Mac was startled until he looked down into the playful brown eyes of the 19-year-old Kaori Nishidake, who had a light smile covering her face. He could not hold back the small grin that began to form on his lips; looking into Kaori’s eyes always seemed to have that effect on him.
“Mac,” the young woman began, “you beat Griff’s score?”
Mac grunted.
“Heh…I still can’t beat that damn brat’s time,” he replied. “I don’t know what’s up with me…but I’ll hafta admit, he’s a hell of a good racer.”
Kaori tilted her head to the side.
“He’s not better than you, Mac!” she said with an even bigger smile than before. “How about you challenge him to a freestyle event?”
Mac smirked at the thought.
“Kaori, Kaori…no one, and I mean no one, beats me in a freestyle event. Not even you.”
He winked, and then lightly put his arm around the woman. He looked down at her and began to speak again.
“Trust me, girl,” he started, “I’ll beat his time. Then we’ll see who really owns this backcountry.”
Removing his arm from around her shoulders, he once again started towards the lodge, his head bobbing in a set beat. Kaori watched his back as his figure faded into the building, then began to run up to the lodge door to catch up to him.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Please let me know what you thought of this! Any sort of feedback, criticism, etc would be great ^^ Thanks a bunch!
Wed Mar 10, 2004 4:34 pm
I like it! It's kinda generic though, you should throw in a twist soon, like a love triangle, some slash, a death, a newcomer, etc. I'll keep reading, nice to finally have another fanfic writer here.
Wed Mar 10, 2004 8:20 pm
i really lke it...great job and keep em' comin!
Wed Mar 10, 2004 9:00 pm
You cant forget about Rainy...hello desperado wrote:I like it! It's kinda generic though, you should throw in a twist soon, like a love triangle, some slash, a death, a newcomer, etc. I'll keep reading, nice to finally have another fanfic writer here.
Thu Mar 11, 2004 6:43 pm
Thanks a bunch for the comments! ^o^
Heh heh, it IS very generic, isn't it, lol ^^; I've never written a snowboarding story before though, so I just wanted to get a feel for that before moving onto something more...grand
If I were to focus on a romantic-type relationship though...it'd probably be Mac/Kaori just because I really like that pairing (they're even the two main characters I've used in the SSX series, hehe). But slash or an original character...I'll definitely consider those options, and others as well (thanks, hello desparado ^^v)
I'll try to work on more when school and job hunting decide to give me some free time e.e;;
Heh heh, it IS very generic, isn't it, lol ^^; I've never written a snowboarding story before though, so I just wanted to get a feel for that before moving onto something more...grand
If I were to focus on a romantic-type relationship though...it'd probably be Mac/Kaori just because I really like that pairing (they're even the two main characters I've used in the SSX series, hehe). But slash or an original character...I'll definitely consider those options, and others as well (thanks, hello desparado ^^v)
I'll try to work on more when school and job hunting decide to give me some free time e.e;;
Fri Mar 12, 2004 4:25 am
Its really really good!!
Fri Mar 12, 2004 5:03 pm
Your welcome! Always happy to help. Are you going to post this on ff.net? You definitely should. And yes Lexi, you can't forget about Rainy, lol... Mac/Kaori is a good pairing, but you should probably one other couple in the background just for an occasional little storyline. Just to make it more dimensional that way.
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